Bee: Kellyanne Conway is the Queen Cersei America deserves
The social media team at TBS' Full Frontal With Samantha Bee should consider building their own job-title creator app. Based on the one she came up with for President-elect Donald Trump's campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, it will yield hilarious results.
"Tonight, we want to celebrate a truly special female woman," she began on Wednesday's show. "Donald Trump's omnipresent spokescobra, Kellyanne Conway."
As much as she didn't want to admit it, Bee acknowledged that Conway did "turn Trump's upended Port-a-Potty of a campaign around and get him elected, pretty much singlehandedly while raising four children and probably being interrupted every three minutes by the alpha-bro jockstraps Trump likes to surround himself with. She is (expletive) amazing at her job and she deserves credit."
She wondered, do Fox News pundits have a point when they argue that if Conway had pulled that off for a Democratic candidate, we'd "be seeing her on the cover of Vogue?"
"Oh my god, you guys, it's so unfair: A woman pulls off the historic feat of electing a sexual predator who thinks women should be punished for abortions and feminists don't celebrate her with a Vogue cover?!?"
Bee also saluted Conway's performance on TV ("We haven't seen a blonde do this much spinning and lying since Tonya Harding"), deflect questions "like Wonder Woman dodging bullets" and her powers of verbal "jujitsu" that allow her to redefine the now ubiquitous term "fake news" to mean any news that is unfavorable to her boss.
In fact, Bee affirms Conway is so good at those things that after his refusal to take a question from CNN at his press conference last week, she wondered why Donald Trump hasn't learned anything about deflecting inquiries from his mistress of spin.
"Smile, take the question, don't answer it, complain about Hillary Clinton," Bee exclaimed. "It's not a difficult formula!"
And that prompted the comedian to ask a larger question: "Why is he president instead of her? Kellyanne is the soulless, Machiavellian despot America deserves!"